Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

EA's cancelled Black Panther game would have featured an evolved take on Shadow of Mordor's Nemesis System - Eurogamer

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Adventure Calls from the Lost City of Un’Goro, Hearthstone’s Next Expansion - Blizzard Entertainment

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t cotton to rapists

What is your opinion on the band Nickelback? Why do they receive criticism from some people?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t buy bullshit

Why do some people enjoy being dominated?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

How do people develop stage 4 cancer without noticing until it’s too late?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Patriots OTAs takeaways: Drake Maye rises, Stefon Diggs returns, rookie WR shines - Boston Herald

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have a reading level above third grade

Winners, losers from NASCAR Cup race at Nashville won by Ryan Blaney - NBC Sports

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know who the president of Turkey really is

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Big Bang May Not Be The Beginning of Everything, New Theory Suggests - ScienceAlert

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

How physicists used antimatter, supercomputers and giant magnets to solve a 20-year-old mystery - The Conversation

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I see through liars

I can read

Is anal sex allowed in Islam? It's not written anywhere in the Quran whether it's forbidden or not.

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Overthinking is killing me day-by-day. What should I do?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

People Who Have Been Stuck In A Coma Are Sharing What Happened, And Whoa - BuzzFeed

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Why do people procrastinate and how can they stop?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have complete contempt for fakery

I actually pay taxes

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I can count

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t watch or listen to advertising